Time flies…

I realized today my babies are growing way too fast.  Raya is on the verge of 5 (which already feels like 16) and Jamesyn is no longer a little baby needing me.  At two, she is a very independent little girl.  How did this happen so fast?

I swear most days creep at a snail’s pace.  Some days I look at the clock and realize only twenty minutes have passed since my last glance.  Each day brings housework, real work and errands.  I squeeze in some fun time but even that drags some days.  Afterall, how many times can you do the same puzzle or play Memory.  Yet, as I look at my girls they seem to be doing everything, especially growing, in hyper-speed.

Raya started Pre-K 3 today.  This is the last class in her preschool before she heads to kindergarten next fall.  As I took her into her new room, tears ran down her cheeks and displayed her fear of something new.  She sat on my lap and cried because she didn’t want to be in that class.  As I comforted her, it took all my energy to not cry myself.  Truthfully, I didn’t want her there either.  Her reasons were due to anxiety at something new.  My reason was simple, I didn’t want her to grow up.  I wanted to freeze time and keep my first-born as my precious little girl forever.  We both pushed through our tears and said good-bye.  I have been glancing at the clock all day wondering how she is as my own heart is a bit sad at this new stage she started.

Then there is Jamesyn.  There is no anxiety on her part.  She is diving head first into independence and loving every minute.  Each day she masters a new word or a new skill.   I am constantly reminded of how fast she is growing.  Over the weekend, the realization of her independence punched me in the gut.  We were on a family trip and staying in a hotel.  Rather than make Jamesyn sleep in a crowded pack-n-play, I put her on a pull out bed.  After she fell asleep, I watched her for a bit and kept waking up to check on her.  She was so content, sprawled out on this big girl bed.  My littlest baby was one more step closer to out growing babyhood.  In my head big girl hotel bed was just a stones throw away from big girl bed in college.  It was gut wrenching.

Both my girls are growing into very independent young woman.  I know I can’t stop this growth, but I do wish I had the ability to freeze time.  As the days sneak past, the weeks and years fly by.  I hope as they continue to grow that I will continue to remember to enjoy the smallest moments because even those are gone too fast.  Maybe that is why I take a ton of pictures…that way when they are all grown up I will have those hard memories of their younger years to look back on and smile.

Years ago, a mom on my husband’s basketball team was watching her son play in his final high school game.  She looked at me and said, “The days go so slow and the years go so fast.”

Truer words were never spoken and I remembered them poignantly this week.

Advertisement