Moms: Then vs. Now

I have trouble blogging some weeks.  Sometimes life and work get too crazy, the kids don’t cooperate or my self-confidence wanes and I wonder why anyone would care what an average mom is thinking.  Yet, I keep blogging.  (Seeing the blog counter rise gives me a high I love.)

With this blog, my mind was blank.  I could amuse with stories about the girls, talk about the latest business growth or I could find an intriguing discussion.  As if the email gods heard me, my email beeped and I opened an article from Hybrid Mom Magazine entitled “Who’s A Better Mom?  You or Your Mother.”  Perfect.

I don’t know about you, but I always compare myself to my mother and strive to be half the mom she is.  I loved childhood.  I fondly remember it full of love, happiness and laughter.  But was that the reality or just the rose-colored glasses I now wear when selectively recalling a life before mortgages and responsibility?

My mom is how I describe the perfect mom.  She was always there when we needed her, held fun birthday parties (at home) each year, cooked meals from scratch every night, kept the house clean, wrangled three kids without breaking a sweat and never lost it or seemed stressed out.   She could sew an outfit, run us all over town, make beautiful crafts and manage to be a loving wife to my dad.  In short, she gave me an awesome role model for when I had kids but an impossible standard to reach.

As a mom now, I don’t know how she did it.  I only have two kids but it feels like ten most days.  Rarely, is a meal homemade, dog hair is frequently on our floors, I can’t thread a sewing machine, my kids watch t.v. so I can get something done and I keep the deodorant business alive with the amount of sweating and running around I do.  I make it through each day with a shot of caffeine, a lot of stressful moments and a occassional outburst.

While I will always think my mom was a better mom than me,  I don’t think you can or should judge moms against each other.  You certainly can’t judge two moms from different generations the same.  When we were kids, moms rarely worried about predators, too much internet exposure, spanking kids in public, childhood obesity, etc… etc…  Those things weren’t issues.  The world was simpler, you connected with people in person rather than 24/7 via facebook, twitter and texting, your cell phone (if you had the luxury of one) stayed in your car because it was connected to the cigarette lighter and your life had a lot less choices and technology.

As moms today, we have been conditioned to worry about everything and to compare ourselves to everyone.  Technology has taken away the ability to escape.  People have so many choices on everything from where to shop to how many t.v. channels there are.  Every parenting issue has a hundred books and perspectives on it.  Moms judge and criticize other moms openly.  Everyone, whether they mean to or not, is playing keep up or surpass the Joneses.  We have become a group always on, never slowing down and who is constantly competing against one another instead of working together.

So which mom would you want to be is the more appropraite question?  Would I would like to slow down, have fewer critics and be able to escape more?  Yes.  However, I also love the choices I have, the vast opportunities as a working woman and a mom and the variety in life.  (I especially like my Tivo.)  I guess I will take the good and the bad and just try to focus on loving my life, adoring my family and realizing all our situations are different and that I wouldn’t trade what I have for anything.

What about you?

Mom and I with my girls.

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